Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
