Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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