i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
