I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
