Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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