we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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