Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
