It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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