you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
