do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
