last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
