i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
