I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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