Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
