My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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