I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
