somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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