maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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