He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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