I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize