Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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