just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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