I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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