I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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