ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
