You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't deserve a penis
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
