i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Dear god my vagina.
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