she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
