She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
