we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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