my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm both gender and math confused
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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