I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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