So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
