I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
