They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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