I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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