There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
