hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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