i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
