And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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