I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just cut my nipple shaving
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
