We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
