make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
