That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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