So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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