Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
