No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
