I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
