No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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