Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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