my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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