Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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