i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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