just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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