shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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