They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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