watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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