It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
