Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
