I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize